Your Inner Critic. It’s the voice in your head that starts chirping at you when you step out of your comfort zone (or even THINK about stepping out of your comfort zone). Your Inner Critic wants you to play it safe and never take any risks. But then how do you live a big, awesome life? After coaching 100’s of people, I know that these are the most common things our Inner Critic says to us. Which does YOURS say to you?
Billy’s Top 10 Themes Your Inner Critic
Tends to Attack You On:
1. “You’re going to fail”
Yuck, the F-word. But it’s not actually failure that we’re scared of, it’s “what will people think of me?” if I fail. Your Inner Critic knows this so it says it a lot to try to get you to always play it safe!
2. “You’re going to look stupid”
Mine says this all the time. We so badly want to look good and be right. We hate being wrong or looking silly, because then people won’t like you and might not want you around.
3. “Your opinion doesn’t matter”
For some clients I’ve had, this is the most debilitating. It makes them hold their tongue, not share their great ideas and never deal with conflict.
4. “They’re going to think you’re a fake”
My Inner Critic says this to me every time I’m giving a keynote speech to hundreds of people. Especially really SMART people. I remind myself, “This is my expertise, I know more about this than everyone in this room. Remember that.”
5. “You’re not smart enough”
Ever feel this when you’re meeting people for the first time and they seem like really bright people? Maybe they have big jobs or titles or make lots of money or have more education than you. That can sometimes make us feel inadequate. The more we push ourselves, the more we may feel this way, but that’s totally normal! Lots of people may be looking at YOU and thinking you’re smarter than they are.
6. “They’re not going to like you”
This is really common for people who had trouble making friends when they were kids, or were made fun of often when they were kids. It never quite goes away.
7. “You’re going to cause a scene”
I’m always getting out of my comfort zone and getting my clients to do the same, so I hear this all the time! Like when I dressed up like Cleopatra when I flew from Toronto to Vancouver. Terrifying!
8. “Who do you think you are?”
Your Inner Critic may say this when you’re trying to put your needs first, or if you’re questioning something another person says. While we may all have trouble putting ourselves first sometimes, I’ve noticed that women struggle with it the most.
9. “You don’t matter”
This is like number 3, but even deeper. When we’re on our death-bed, all we’ll care about is whether or not we mattered. Our Inner Critic knows this, so it uses it all the time to stop us from taking risks.
10. “You’re just not good enough”
This is at the root of everything above. When we don’t feel good enough we clam right up and shrink away from our awesomeness. We don’t end up putting the unique dent in the universe that we alone are able to do.
So, what does YOUR Inner Critic say to YOU? To help, you can check out this quick video from Billy explaining how to manage your Inner Critic. Otherwise, make sure you pick up a copy of Billy’s book, Your Comfort Zone is Killing You, on Amazon here.
Have a courageous day.
Get in touch with Billy at firstname.lastname@example.org for any questions, or leave any comments below.