If you’ve read Billy’s book Your Comfort Zone is Killing You: Finding the Courage to Be You, you know how important clarity can be in helping you take action and create the life you’re meant to be living. As you can see from the chart below, the more clear you are, the closer you are to not only knowing what direction you want to go in, but having some idea of the steps required to get there.
But what do you do if you’re NOT very clear? That can be really scary! Clarity is scary because (a) we are all afraid that there will be no solution for us and we’ll be stuck forever (which never happens, by the way) and (b) because getting clear on things means you might have to change something about you life. So, the best thing to do is hire a coach… like BILLY, for example, or you can get a copy of Billy’s book or take one of his group courses. All are great options. BUT of course you don’t need to run to a coach for every decision and you definitely have the ability to get more clear on your own by exploring a few new thoughts.
So, to help you get clear on a change or decision you might be unclear on right now (especially if you’re in any quadrant BUT “B” in the chart above), Billy is sharing his top 10 questions to help gain clarity here:
1. WHAT ARE YOUR ASSUMPTIONS?
We don’t always realize it but we all make a LOT of assumptions about the things we want, what people will think, how things will go, what we really need, all SORTS of things. So, literally write out the longest list of assumptions you possibly can, based on the areas you feel stuck. And when you think you’re done, try for at least 5 more minutes – it is when we think we’re out of assumptions that the REALLY insightful ones come up!
2. IF YOU HAD AN ENDLESS AMOUNT OF COURAGE, WHAT WOULD BE DIFFERENT?
It’s amazing how much we limit ourselves. We are our own worst enemies when it comes to getting clear or making change happen so this question really separates your dreams – what you really want – from your limiting beliefs.
3. WHAT ADVISE WOULD YOU GIVE SOMEONE ELSE IN THIS SCENARIO?
This is another one that really helps us get out of our own heads and away from the limitations we set for ourselves. By thinking of the problem as someone else’s problem, we become more objective in our thinking and find answers we wouldn’t think of otherwise.
4. WHAT IS THE OPPORTUNITY?
There are lots of times we get so wrapped up in what we don’t know, or what the challenges are, that we forget about what we DO know, and what the opportunities are. Get away from all the negatives and start thinking positive with this question.
5. HOW DOES THIS LOOK FROM THEIR SHOES?
If looking at the problem from outside yourself – or in ways that don’t hold you to your own limiting beliefs – is starting to feel redundant, it’s NOT. It is such a habit, that asking yourself questions about how to think about the problem or situation from another perspective will give new insights each time, so stick with it.
6. HOW DOES THIS FIT YOUR VALUES?
Last month we spoke a LOT about this. Your values are at the core of EVERYTHING you do, think and choose, whether you realize it or not. So, it’s important to know what those values are and how they inform your decisions. If you want to find your unique top 10 values you can take our free, online assessment here. To learn how to use them in your decision-making check out this video from Billy on our YouTube channel.
7. WHAT IS THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME?
Another reality of being a human being is that we often don’t give ourselves permission to just dream. So we’re giving you permission – let your fantasies run wild and consider what things will look like far into the future. Not sure about the details? Start with things you DO know – how will you dress, what kind of people email you, what kind people do YOU email, what equipment do you think you’ll need, what will your space look like. what country or city are you in. etc. Try to visualize the outcome without worrying at all about how you’re going to get there just yet. That part figures itself out once you know where you’re headed.
8. WHAT IS REALLY DRAINING YOU?
Is the thought of change on its own enough to leave you wanting to burry your head in the sand or just go to sleep and hope things are better when you wake up? You’re not alone there, which is why it’s really important to know exactly what’s draining you. What are the specifics you don’t like about where you think you’re headed? AND, are there ways around them? We often assume we have to deal with the parts we don’t like to get the things we love – but that’s often not true. The happiest people find ways to capitalize on their strengths and minimize the things that drain them. Can you hire someone to take care of it? Are you assuming you have to do things the way everyone else does? Is there another way, can you carve your own path?
And if you’re NOT sure what your drainers are, you can try finding them using this Via Character Strengths Quiz. It takes time, but it is GREAT information!
9. WHAT OTHER OPTIONS DO YOU HAVE?
Are the drainers too much for you? Or have you tried a similar solution in the past but it didn’t work out? Or do you simply not like the solutions you have been given by others? Well, what other options do you have? It doesn’t have to be black and white, by any means. It’s time for another list and this time write out ALL the options you might have – no matter how crazy they might seem at the time. You don’t necessarily HAVE to do any of them, but the exercise will help you feel less trapped and, once you get the creative juices flowing, you might be surprised what comes to mind!
10. WHAT’S AT STAKE?
Alright, time for two last lists. First, I want you to list out all that’s at risk if you do make a change – what is important to you that you’re worried about losing with this change? Second, what’s at risk if you DON’T make a change? All the opportunities, aspects of fulfillment, people, desires, etc. that you might lose out on if you do nothing. Now, ask yourself the question – which am I more willing to live with? If you lost ALL of the things that are at stake (which isn’t likely to be the case, but possible) – what would you regret more? This should help you get a little closer to ensuring that you don’t end up with the #1 regret people have on their deathbed: “I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” And, again, if you need some help deciding between the two lists you can always call on your values again!
Well, we hope those questions help you find more clarity in your decision making. If you’re still having trouble, don’t worry – these things are really tricky to figure out on our own so it might take some time, or it might take some help. You can always go through these questions with a friend or someone who knows you well and can help add insight or, as mentioned, we’re always here at the Courage Crusade if you want a sure-fire solution to get you on the right path. Billy’s book can also really help, packed with tons of exercises and advice to get you more clear throughout. You can get a copy through Amazon at these links here, and the Kindle version starts as low as $2.99 so it’s a really affordable way to get some help!
Have a courageous day everyone!
To learn more about The Courage Crusade visit https://couragecrusade.com/.